Canto XXI of Hell
The distressing tribulations of the Minister of Finance.
The Christians who venerated Saint-Sweden,
Saint-Fidel and Saint-Staline.
Così di ponte in ponte, altro parlando che la mia comedìa cantar non cura, venimmo; e tenavamo il colmo, quando restammo per veder l'altra fessura di Malebolge e li altri pianti vani; e vidila mirabilmente oscura. Quale ne l'arzanà de' Viniziani bolle l'inverno la tenace pece a rimpalmare i legni lor non sani, ché navicar non ponno - in quella vece chi fa suo legno novo e chi ristoppa le coste a quel che più viaggi fece;
Thus, we went from bridge to bridge; and we arrived at the top of the arch, when we stopped to see the crack, in the shape of an anus, of the Manicouagan and still and still, new futile tears; and I saw it extraordinarily obscure. Not by fire, but by a divine art, was boiling, in this hollow, a thick pitch which limed the edges from all sides. I saw it well, but I saw in it only the bubbles raised by the boiling: they all inflated and fell down sagging. As I looked fixedly at the bottom, my guide took me from where I was, saying to me: "Be carefull! be carefull!" I then turned around like the man who suddenly loses the strengh to flee, so anxious he is to see the danger, and who, for seeing better, does not delay his departure, and I saw, behind us, a black devil who, while running, came up there on the rock. Ah! how savage he look like! And how, in its attitude, he seemed very cruel to me, his feet hardly touched the ground, his wings spread! On his pointed and raised shoulder, he carried a sinner, holding him by the two hips and he held him, strongly tight, the nerves of his feet. He says from our rock: "Oh Mal-griffe, be cruel, here is one of the deputy ministers of Saint-Finance! Put it well at the bottom, for that I still go back in this ministry where I am so busy: everyone traffic there, including the first Minister himself; of a "nee" for money one does there a "yee", one polishes the income taxes one makes them more and more complex, one turns them upside down, one truffles them with calculations and rules, which make, the time to fill them, exceeds the time that it would be necessary to work honestly to survive, and who is only used to satisfy the voracious appetite of Cupid. Do not spare them because, in addition to their felonies, they said they where Christians who venerated Saint-Sweden, Saint-Fidel and Saint-Staline and who believed they where making charity while redistributing, whereas they impoverished while they where defrauding. Useless it is, to call upon Saint-Sweden! One swims here, otherwise than in the St-Lawrence river. Thus, if you do not want to deal with our hooks, do not exhibit yourself above the pitch! Know that here, contrary to what occurs on earth, you must fill up your belly, incognito, so that your victims puff you out in a hiding-place." The good Master says to me: "Hide yourself behind this rock so that no one could see that you are here. And whatever the offence that one makes to me, do not be afraid, I was at a similar brawl on another time." Then he bypass the head of the bridge, and, when he arrived on the sixth dam, he needed well to have all his self-confidance. With the fury and this impetuous pace that the dogs have, outgoing to jump on a defenceless citizen, who stops suddenly to require for assistance, the demons rushed from below the culvert, and they turned all their blunders against him; but he shouted: "Do not be felonius! Before your hooks do bite me, let one of you come closer to hear me, and you will deliberate then after, to know if you should surtax me!" All shouted: "Let Mal-queue go there!" Then one of them advanced, the others remained motionless, and he came to him. My Master says to him: "Do you believe Mal-queue that I would be, as you see it, arrived up to here healthy and safe, despite all your obstacles, without the help of the divine will and a destiny which is favourable to me? Let us pass through, because one wants in heaven that I show, to this one, this wild way." And he was so disarmed in his pride, that he says to the others to let us pass through. I left from among the rocks, believing I was in safety, and all the devils came closer, which made me fear that they did not kept the pact; I squeeze all my body against Baudelaire, without diverting my eyes from their attitude which was worrying me. They lowered their hooks and said one to the other: "Do you Want that I insert it in his open-ass?" And they answered: "But yes, let we fuck him up as it should be!" But this demon, who spoke with my guide, turned around and says to them: "Peace, peace, Satanachia!" Then he says to us: "One cannot go further by this rock, because of the sixth bridge which is broken. There is near here, another bridge which allows the passage. I will send on this side, some of my people, go with them, they will not do any evil to you. Go ahead, Azathoth and Agaliarept, and you, Astaroth, and that Behemoth leads the ten of you. Let come also, Damballah and Marchocias, Nyarlathotep with his hooked teeth and Sargatanas, Fleurety and this insane of Lucifuge. Search when going around the ebullient pitch; and let those be safe and free from the TPS and the TVQ up to the other bridge which, entirely, crosses over the bulges." I said: "Alas! oh my Master, let us go there alone and without any escort, if you know the way; because I do not wish it! Don't you see that they squeak their teeth and that their eyebrows are threatening and they are likely to badger us?" He answered to me: "I do not want you to be frightened; let them squeak their teeth as much as they want it; they do it to frighten the dolent boiled ones who are at the bottom." They turned on the left over the dam; but each one had initially drawn his tongue, biting it between their teeth, to greet their chief; and him, he had made fart his ass like a trumpet.
Marco Polo ou le voyage imaginaire (La tragédie humaine, janvier 2000) © 1999 Jean-Pierre Lapointe
Theme musical: fantastique de Boulez, emprunté aux Classical Midi Archives.
Important Notice: any photos or fragments of photos subject to copyright will be removed on notice.